Has anyone seen Toto?

 Excuse me; I’ve lost my dog Toto. Small, cute, brownish in color, and yappy. Can you help me? What? I’m sorry I don't understand you. All I hear is blah blah blah, BLAH!

Keelung starts with the same letter as Kansas City, but that is truly where the similarities end. I ascertain there might be a hand full of minor similarities, but those are hardly worth expounding on or dwelling upon for long intervals of time. However, the worth lies in merely mentioning these similarities due to the element of perspective this is able to provide. Both cities contain people living within their borders. They both have houses and other various types of dwelling units. They both have the expected amenities one would find in the boundaries of “civilization” and so on. With the discussion of the trite and inane likenesses out of the way we can move forward to the striking differences between these two worlds. However, I do have to concede one thing before I begin my comparison of the two cities; I have never travelled to Kansas City or visited one of Kansas' other metropolitan meccas. But I have the utmost confidence in Gerald my research Gremlin. He has never let me flounder. This is why I can state with certainty Kansas City is just like any other large city in America. It is full of lazy, complacent, and arrogant Americans, yet somehow still feels eerily like home. That being said and my conscience clear, I move on to Keelung, or Geelung as it is pronounced.

Before making this trip abroad I did what any savvy Internet user does and Googled "Keelung, Taiwan". Thousands of sites appeared on my screen for my immediate viewing pleasure. It was almost as if my research Gremlin was working overtime to ensure I had more information than I could ever examine thoroughly. Just in case you're wondering, yes, there really are research Gremlins. Mine is named Gerald, by the way he is single, likes long walks on the beach, and is looking for that special girl Gremlin to settle down with and have little blue baby Gremlins. Those babies will one day all grow up and work in the research industry. Their names will be Daryl, Daryl, Darlene, and Burt. Turns out that Gerald was a family name and I digress.

Keelung... City of mystery, intrigue, enchantment, and the finest dumplings and pollution this side of the South China Sea, stop on by... Keelung is one of the two the oldest city in Taiwan. It is also the largest port city and rains here nine (9) months of the year. I am still waiting to experience this magical rainy time of year. I will be sure to let everyone know when it arrives.

Keelung Port

Keelung Port

Being a port city in modern time’s means huge cruise liners dock and tourists can be seen fervently snapping pictures. Keelung is no exception and seeing huge cruise ships docked in the bay is not an unfamiliar sight. These ships are from all over the world, with Japan and Russia docking in Keelung the most frequently. This in and of itself is not what I find so anomalous. Colossal ocean liners docked at a port city? Not strange. However, for the life of me I cannot figure out what on God's green Earth people would be doing visiting Keelung, on purpose. What makes seeing people streaming down the gangplank even more bizarre is they look as if they are excited about exploring the city. I cannot fathom why anyone would want to come to Keelung City. If I were the tourists exiting the ship catching my first glimpses of this magical city, I would be taken aback by what I was seeing. The shock and awe would melt away to disgust, which would be soon replaced with rage and contempt for my travel agent. The sales pitch attesting to the natural beauty of this ancient port city, had to be a work of absolute fiction. I guess the travel agent does earn bonus points for duping the tourists into traveling to a city that looks as if it could be straight out of those Rambo movies, starring Stallone. Not really the first Rambo, but defiantly Rambo 2 and 3, complete with scary Chinese man holding a huge knife and gun including the bayoneted tip.


Keelung Port

Think I made that part up? Check out the local butcher shops and military police, who have faces made of stone and carry automatic weapons, on just about every corner of the city. The butcher shops are gothic in appearance and have rows upon rows of big knives, smallish knives, and extra-large knives for those harder to hack up customer orders. Blood stains can be seen on the counter behind the glass case, the butchers apron, the floor, the sink, and you get the idea. It looks as if Lizzy Borden works at these shops. I hear she is very efficient and the customers love her technique. As we hurriedly walk past these shops I find myself secretly listening for the cries of today’s special. The term fresh takes on a whole new meaning. Additionally, I do not believe these people have ever heard of USDA inspection.  



Old Building near port

 Apartment Building

Walking Bridge next to Gentleman's Club

The city is old I have been told a time or two, or maybe 100 times or so. I have learned the native people mean something totally different when they say something is old in Taiwan; they mean polluted by filth, tainted by thousands of people living and moving around the city, and been in existence for many generations. For the sake of argument let’s just say that Keelung is “old”. The buildings are old, the streets are old (and the signs are written in “Blah Blah”, the sidewalks are old, the shops are old, and even the shop keepers are old. If one requires a refresher on Taiwanese definition of “old”, please see the above for reference. If everyone else is up to speed we will move beyond old and straight to insanely crowded, with a side of smelly for good measure.

Squid, I think. Yummy!!

Everywhere you turn in Keelung you are guaranteed to bump, nudge, or brush into what seems like a million people. The city being overly crowded begins to bother you less as time passes. You learn to weave in and out of people as you move toward your destination. You do begin to relish the more open spaces in the city for example the harbor area and the Keelung River side of the street. These places have large gathering areas and wider sidewalks, the risk of being bumping into is reduced somewhat. The crowded state of the city seems to foster strange smells, not all are foul, but most smell horrid. I know I keep harping on how bad it smells in Keelung, but in my defense the foul odor cannot be escaped. The odor lurks everywhere. I have now somewhat been able to figure out how to describe this obtrusive smell.  The natives add some type of local special spice to almost everything they cook. The spice itself defies description, but they put it into everything. This spice, whatever it is called, is so pungent it seeps into your body and emanates through your skin once it’s consumed. The smell of this magic and popular spice mixes with normal big city odors, such as garbage, standing water, pollution from motor vehicles, human waste, animal waste, and on and on. The new odor this combination creates makes me nauseous and I cover my nose with my shirt for fear I might vomit on my shoes. Forget about being able to eat anything at this point, not that I would mind you.

Alley: Parking Lot/Shopping Area

Keelung has two different and distinct parts to its city. There is the older part and the part that has been recently built and/or renovated. Please remember the Taiwanese definition of the word old. The buildings in the older part of the city appear to be staring at you and some even appear to have beards. This allusion is due to the decades of pollution falling down from the sky. The pollution is washed down by heavy rain and has created this very odd impression on varying sides. The buildings painted white at one point in time are now discolored and dingy. The buildings look as if they could spin such tales of adventure and sadness. No amount of usable space is wasted in this city. The alleys between the buildings and under overhangs are jammed with various liquor stores, hotels, and traditional Chinese shops. The signs are all in “blah blah” and as you peer down the alley way an unsettling feeling washes over you. I have never ventured the entire way down the alleys for this reason alone. I am adequately sure this feeling goes back to the whole heroine sex slave trade thingy. Yea pretty sure that is why the alleys fill me with dread. Additionally, they are much dirtier than the actual street. Parting thought… Are we sure the movies coming from Hollywood are complete works of fiction? Experience has taught me there is often a granule of truth in every lie.

Old building and directly next to it is new construction

Jing-Xi’s Lesson of the Day: Truth is a matter of perception. In fact truth depends on who is telling which truths. Truth also depends on several factors. It depends on what information is being relayed, who is relaying said information, and the life experiences of the person relaying this truth. With this being said, the old adage about one person’s trash being another person’s treasure, could not be truer statement. Just because one does not see the value in an item, or city, does not mean the item is worthless. Seems as if truth and life are both matters of perception…