Trick, but no Treat...

 "When hinges creak, in door-less chambers. And strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelight’s flicker, where the air is deathly still, that is the time when ghosts are present. Practicing their terror, with ghoulish delight!" Welcome! Foolish Mortals, to the haunted mansion, I am your host, your ghost host. Hmmmm. Our tour begins here, in this gallery. Here where you see paintings of some of our guests, as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now... Your cadaverous parlor, betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this Haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmm?? And consider this dismaying observation; this chamber had no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge, to find A WAY OUT! HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!! Of course, there's always my way..."

 

I love the Haunted Mansion. My Gina and I used to be able to recite the entire script along with the ghost host. I am sure we drove other riders crazy, but it wasn’t as if we actually knew any of the other riders. We would even scream on cue. It is a shame Disneyland doesn’t award acting trophies, because we would have been a shoo in for sure.  “And the Emmy for acting scared and aiding the Ghost Host, goes to (pause for dramatic effect) Jing-Xi and her Gina! “Who, us? (acting shocked that we actually won) Oh Oh…Thank you for this honor... You like us… You really like us!”

Who doesn’t like Halloween? I love the time of year when the weather turns cool at night, but warm during the day. The leaves begin to change colors and eventually float almost magically to the ground. The smell of autumn permeates the air and every child knows Halloween is close at hand. Being in the Far East I expected Halloween to be celebrated differently, if celebrated at all. In Taiwan the smell of autumn does not exist and there are no real leaves to turn colors. I have been informed numerous times palm tree leaves do not count towards this endeavor. With the disappointment of the absentee autumn still weighing heavily on my heart Halloween was a hop, skip, and scream away.

My fellow English teachers and I were asked to decorate the Kid’s Happy Land for the big day. I believed the request to be odd, but presumed the decorations were for the benefit of the students. I was confident we would be asked to not hang any witches or devils, this being a Catholic school. However, no such demand was made. In fact we constructed two separate witches to the utter delight of our superiors. I probed my fellow teachers about how odd I found it to be a Catholic school celebrating the day dedicated to things that go bump in the night. The teachers told me Halloween is a colossal ordeal in Taiwan. Every child dresses up and participates in “Tricks or Treets”. I smiled and nodded, chalking this oddity to “That’s the way we do it in Taiwan”.

On the day of Halloween first thru third grade came down to Kid’s Happy Land to play games and be given candy. Once inside the kids recited the following for the Happy Land teachers: “Tricks or Treets, smeeal my feets, give me somephing goods to eat, if you don’t, I don’t care, I will gibes you underwears.” I nearly wet my pants laughing. I thought this might be a fluke and only one class would say the Halloween rhyme for us. But to my shock and pleasure every class recited the rhyme for us. It was one of the funniest sights I had ever watched. This was even funnier than time Scott Landis set the roof of his mother’s house on fire one 4^th of July. I took pictures of the students decked out in their Halloween garb. Enjoy!

 Do you see Snow White?







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Angels in front... Demons in back.

The girl with the huge yellow bow is named Elaine. She is in 1st grade and very sweet. She told me that the bow was her crown.

 Jing-Xi’s Thought of the Day: Learning about another culture and far away land via the Internet, is not enough. One misses key subtleties learned only by visiting these places in person. This is clearly the case when one gets asked if every American marries their 1^st cousin and has the middle name Bob. Trick or Treat?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         

This girl is dressed up as a piece of candy. Wrappers and all.

Power Ranger, witch and some type of demon.

Superman throwing the peace sign.

Batman and Spiderman all in the same room. Who is out saving the day and catching the bad guys?

An angry bird and friend. I wasn't sure what this girl was dressed up as, but I know what she looks like. She is no older than the 3rd grade, in case anyone was wondering.

These are very white old students. Not really... This is Petier and Adrain, dressed as "Pumpkin Brothers". The one on the right is Petier, the slutty pumpkin. The one on the left is Adrain, the idiot pumpkin.

Not students. This is Rachel and Alexandra. The one on the right is Rachel, from the great state of Missouri. The one on the right is Alex, from Georgia, but her parents are Greece and Italy. All I have to say is WOW when it comes to Alex. :)  They are dressed up as Taiwanese single women. This is how the women dress here in hopes of wedding a foreign man.

War of the Worlds...

Suddenly a loud shriek pierced the quiet Sunday afternoon at the park. “What’s that?” a woman cries. A huge flying saucer hovered over the football field; an eerie beam of light came from the ship’s belly, and the entire U of O football team vanished. Just then Tom Cruise burst onto the scene to save the day. But then realized it’s U of O… Why waste his time on saving a team who wears such ugly colored uniforms…   

 The City Who Fights Back..

Riding along in the taxi this afternoon I had an epiphany. I instructed the driver; using one of my three blah blah phrases I mastered, to take me to Ai Mi, A-Mart in English. He replied Doy, yes, and we were on our way. The taxi weaved in and out of traffic with great proficiency and ease; the sad faced buildings stared back at me through the window. To gain an enhanced comprehension of the driving skills these taxi drivers possess imagine the heaviest traffic you have ever witnessed in your life time. Now add 10,000 additional pedestrians, scooters, busses, taxis, and/or cars. Everywhere you look there are various motorized vehicles or pedestrians playing chicken with the cars in the crosswalks.  This is the traffic in and around the city of Keelung. When a car honks its horn at you it’s a warning not just meant to make you aware of its presence, but a warning to remove yourself from its direct path or be run over. Just about every heavily traveled road in Keelung has crosswalks and signals which have a digital count down in bright yellow. The countdown begins its descent at 45. This is 45 seconds during which time pedestrians are allowed to cross the street. This also gives drivers an idea of when they will be able to end the wait at the red light and zoom away. However, the crosswalks really do not hold any type of special value to drivers and the people crossing in them even less. The traffic turning on the green light is not the only danger one is forced to struggle against. Imagine a sea of people, cars, and scooters for these taxi drivers to contend with and then add the stress they experience from the expectation of prompt delivery of their fare to said destination. The taxi driving in Taiwan is not just a skill, it’s an art form. Anyone seen the white rabbit?? Sorry about the trail. During the ride to Ai Mi the taxi driver would interrupt the deafening silence when he muttered aloud in blah blah, which probably were curse words. This is the epiphany part, in case you were wondering if I would be getting to this grand revelation. This city, Keelung, is wedged in between two separate worlds. There is the “old” world, with tradition and the old ways of living one’s life. Then there is the “new” world, which is jostling and jockeying position and new traditions. The taxi driver, who donned salt n pepper hair, seemed to straddle the two warring worlds with a simple ease. I only draw attention to the color of the driver’s hair to illuminate the following. The car this mature fellow was operating was a newer model Toyota and this ordinary looking taxi boasted modern conveniences not many American car owners are able to afford. It is no secret Americans over spend and are notorious for their longing to be noticed for their ability to “keep up with the Jones’” with no regard to the gravity of consequences. This competitive streak and the yearning to have the best with no concern for the cost is the reason Mainland China owns America, lock stock and smoking barrel. American’s do not deny their desires and other countries have grown to depend on this well-known fact. Such is the sad commentary on American greed and this greed is the motivating force behind driving a Lexis you can’t afford, owning a television with a screen bigger than a small country, and owning hand bags the price of which would have fed a family of five for an entire month in some countries. The phrase there is one born every minute springs to mind. The taxi was equipped with a five disk changer, which also played BlueRay, and viewing screens for the front and rear passengers. The driver was enjoying what appeared to be a “Blah Blah” version of “Leave it to Beaver”. I did not enjoy the reruns of this show when I was a child and this fact was not going to change based solely on subtitles and the women dressed in what I observed to be oriental moo moos. Not trying to point out the obvious, but leave it to blah blah quickly jumped the shark.

My attention turned to the scenery which seemed to skip past the car at mach 6. Every now and then we stopped for a red light and this gave opportunity to truly take in the sights. It has been said there is a 7-11 on every corner in America. If this is indeed the truth, there are at least two 7-11s on every block in Keelung. In addition and on the same block, they have a store called OK Mart, which is similar in kind to 7-11, but way less smelly. We passed towering modern meccas made of glass and steel. If you looked carefully you noticed traditional Buddhist temples huddled between the buildings. This affords the temples refuge from the surrounding environment and to take advantage of affluences the businesses provide daily. Quick food, as it is termed here, restaurants can be seen every place you turn. It is in this regard one can witness the stark juxtaposition between the old and new worlds. Quick food is beginning to take a position of prominence over the traditional foods cooked at home. Homemade family dinners are giving way to speed and convenience. Why would a working mother want to cook when she can have it delivered in 30 minutes or less, guaranteed? The correct answer here, in case you’re slow, is she wouldn’t want to cook. She is busy and has three children. She cleans the house, washes the clothes for five people, and listens to her husband complain incessantly. What makes you think cooking dinner is a priority after the type of day she survived.

 KFC, Pizza Hut, and Mc Donalds are an everyday sojourn for many people with the intention of snatching a bite on the run. Examples of the war being waged between the two worlds are everywhere one choose to take in a different aspect. The supermarkets sell traditional Chinese food ingredients in one isle and around the corner is the freezer section are the heat and eat “Real Italian Style” pizzas. You can always deifier how “traditional” the ingredients are by how insulting their odor is to your senses. The further down the traditional path one chooses to the skip the worse the smell. I do not even have the fortitude to stand at the trail head and gaze down the path. I happen to like my Sketchers very much and they would not be cute vomit colored. I will save the humorous “Real Italian Style” explanation for another blog. It seems like ease and convenience of the new world is moving in on the old world and is threatening to snuff it out of existence. The new world offers paperless maps that give you directions to anywhere you want to travel, although sometimes flawed and can cause death if one forgoes the use of common sense. The paperless map mounts to the dashboard and a sultry voice tells you bbllaahh bbllaahh. The new world way is better than the old method of getting around, plus a paper map could never make you feel wanted and loved. However, the paper map could double as toilet paper if you were lost and in need.  GPS units, bloothtooth headsets, IPhones, and IPods (complete with stand and radio connecter) can be found in every taxi cab. Most taxis also have some type of entertainment system providing the passengers entertainment and a distraction as the taxi driver takes their lives into his hands. Every taxi also sports the very traditional in origin religious statue/icon, prayer contrivance, good luck charm, and device, usually a chain and pendant, used for keeping ancestors happy and the ghosts far away. The two worlds are constantly warring for alpha status.

 

Jing-Xi’s Thought of the Day: Changing some parts of what one calls tradition can be beneficial. The parts of tradition which are not helpful or do not hold special value should be changed, thusly making the traditional acts retain true worth. The parts of tradition one does because it has always been should be evaluated and eradicated if found lacking in lesson. If one dances around the bonfire naked during winter solstice because it has always been, the tradition is sorely in need of evaluation. In Taiwan tradition is ever important, but some have forgotten why the tradition is kept and held in high regard. In addition some have lost the old ways altogether and replaced them with new ways. These new ways are permeating every aspect of culture and have trickled down into the educational system. The schools are teaching the students how to order combo meals correctly. The schools push this new way on the students so much they even teach what is called “The Fast Food Song”. I am sure there is a valuable lesson Taiwan should learn from America’s example. Childhood obesity is at an all-time high, but hasn’t affected these children. Yet..

 

 

Two is Always Better Than One...

Hhoopppeee Birrrsdayaa tue Euwww! Hhoopppeee Birrrrsaayaa tuuueee eeuuuwwww anda maneesa muurrraa! Thank you! I will be here all week. Please remember to tip your waiters and waitresses folks. Thank you and goodnight…

This is the phrase I kept anticipating was following the class’s singing. In most civilized parts of the world considered to be the Far East individuals have two birthdays. One birthday is their“small” birthday and the other, by means of elimination, would be termed their “big” birthday. When one of my favored students proclaimed to me a few days ago, “uhh today my “little” birthday, Teacher and I broughta theees (this) for youa” needless to say I was curious and confused. Mia handed me a little gift bag including a juice box, orange juice according to the picture accompanying the “blah blah” on the front, some type of what might be a cookie or cracker, and candy. Giving gifts to other people on one’s birthday in Taiwan is the “way we do it in Taiwan”. I am not certain if this way to celebrate a person is also practiced in other parts of Asia. I might have to teach in Japan next year to determine exactly how wide spread this birthday practice extends. I apologize, I am worse than Alice when it comes to following that darn White Rabbit. Shifting this exhortation forward…  Where was I? Oh yes, I remember now. Little birthday… Little birthday, I asked, what on God’s green earth is a little birthday? Mia dutifully embarked on her futile attempt to explain little birthdays versus big birthdays to me. She sighed and stated here in Taiwan, three words I have grown to loathe, everyone has two birthdays. She paused the explanation in order for her Taiwanese speaking brain to translate her thoughts into the English words necessary for me to understand. Fully comprehending her explanation, unfortunately, proved more difficult than trying to nail Jell-O to a wall. I gleaned only bits of solid information from our 10 minute chat on the way up to English class. I grasped here in Taiwan they have two birthdays, I put a hash mark in the “already knew that” column. I also understood one birthday was celebrated small and one was celebrated big. Again the hash mark was affixed firmly in the “already knew that” column. From that point the information I understood was unreliable, to say the very least, and I hadn’t placed one single hash mark in the column labeled “new information”. As we approached our classroom Mia told me to “hangs on” and she ran ahead of me and into the room. Since there are a large number of students, all wearing matching blue school uniforms, and having black hair I lost sight of Mia.

My Taiwanese co-teacher Judia greeted me as I unloaded my heavy bag from my person. I tapped into this rare gift a few seconds before the onset of English class to inquire about this whole birthday business. Judia thought for a couple seconds and expounded for me on Mia’s previous attempt to aid in my, what seemed to be daily, lessons about everything Chinese. She simply picked up her desk calendar and pointed out the two types of “monphs”. She also stated Chinese calendar doesn’t follow sun. I finished the next part of the discourse for her. I told her if the Chinese calendar does not follow the sun it must follow the only other heavenly body large enough to measure the passage of time, the moon. One would have thought I had discovered the location the ever illusive Fountain of Youth and brought her a small sip its water judging the manner in which she reacted to the addition of 1+1 in my brain. Needless to say, she was happy I understood her explanation.

Allow me to demystify the two birthdays in Taiwan. The Chinese follow what is called the Lunar Calendar. Yuup Skippy, this means they built their calendar tracking the moon’s movements. However, the balance of the world follows what is called the Gregorian Calendar, or simply a calendar that follows the sun’s movements. Two calendars equals two birthdays. The small and big terms are applied to the months in the lunar calendar. Due to weather and farming some months are “small” and some are “big”. The above is the extent of my understanding relating to the small and big terms used to refer to months in the lunar calendar. I even asked another native to explain the differences between the months and how their size is determined. I am ashamed to admit the additional clarification only muddied the waters further. However, celebrating two birthdays does sound very appealing, as long as the two birthday celebrations only add one year to your total age. Right?

Note of interest: If anyone wants to know when to celebrate their second birthday visit this site http://www.asia-home.com/china/cncaps.php  and follow the directions. The site calculates your lunar birthday and even gives you the animal who rules your birth year. If anyone is curious my lunar birthday is April 1^st and the Wood Tiger rules my year.   

Wood Tiger

 

Jing-Xi’s Lesson for the Day: The thought of celebrating two separate times to acknowledge one’s birth is an alien concept to me. The practice of giving gifts to others on one’s birthday is even more foreign. I believe this might be due to the feelings dread and despair that fills me as my birthday approaches every year. Observing the jubilation a birthday brings in this country, let alone two birthdays, has caused me to pause and consider my feelings about birthdays and even life itself. A birthday is reason to celebrate. Every person is special and adds their unique brand of crazy to this world. When my birthday circles around this year maybe I will apply the adage “this is the way we do it in Taiwan”, and send out birthday cards.       

This magic water will...

"So Jack handed the stranger the money he was supposed to use to purchase food. The stranger, in return, handed Jack three magic beans...

I recognize this story from somewhere. Where have I heard the words magic beans? I recollect it was from every person who has ever visited the numerous hot springs located on this island. They all return acclaiming the magical and healing powers these special waters poses. I remaine leery of strangers peddling “magic beans”.   

 Two weeks ago my friend Jim came down to where my desk is located to talk “American” and reminisce about home. Hearing “blah blah” starts to disrupt one’s inner serenity after being subjected to it for prolonged periods. I can hardly imagine what Jim must endure on a regular basis at home. One can only withstand listening to the Blah Blah Language for limited intervals and then crazy notions begin to take shape in your mind. For example, I wonder what would happen if I just dropped to the floor and faked a seizure. Would they stop the mind numbing blah blah long enough to see if I needed medical attention. Probably not… I could yell FIRE! I have always wanted to do that back home, but it is not permitted. Even yelling fire would not slow the continuous droning noise of their blah blah. If the monotonous hum of blah blah in normal tones doesn’t drive you to the brink of insanity, one only has to wait for the natives to become excited regarding the topic being discussed and the drone of blah blah becomes high pitched shrieks. It is this that pointed me to a theory regarding the extinct Lemmings. Basically the non blah blah lemmings jumped off the cliff so they no longer were subjected to the grating sound of the other lemmings speaking blah blah. Just a theory, mind you, could  have happened you know...

Jim and I conversed for a bit and as he was leaving to return to his classroom he stated a few of us “foreigners” are going to the hot springs, not next weekend, but the next. Would you like to come with us? I inquired where the springs were located, how we were going to travel there, and all other pertinent information. Most I was fishing for information on the type of food they served at this “resort”. I know this seems like a trivial motivation for considering not attending, but you have to understand what types of substances are termed foods in this country. Seriously… Jim assured me there was food, items even I would determine as food, and it would be fun. I agreed to attend the hot springs with the merry band of foreigners and Jim, he has been deemed in some respects, a local due to the fact he married a beautiful Taiwanese woman and can speak a little Chinese.

On Saturday Alex and I headed toward the bus station where we were meeting the others to travel to the hot springs together. Seven teachers from diverse countries were waiting for Alex, Jim, and I to show. Finally, we were all together and we meandered in the direction the bus stop where the #790 would whisk us away to our hot springs retreat. The promise of relaxation, rejuvenation, and succulent food was the theme of every conversation. The most pleasant portion of waiting for the bus was listening to conversations containing accents which were blah blah free.

The 790 arrived, in Taiwan you never really know if the busses are on-time or late due to the fact the signs and schedules are written in blah blah, and we boarded the bus. A short, bumpy, yet interesting ride in the direction of the ocean and we were in a new city. When we stepped off the bus the sun was shining and a sweet smelling breeze greeted us. We continued our trek from the bus stop on foot and Jim assured us the hot springs were nearby. Dialogues fixated on the hardships of teaching in Taiwan and camaraderie provided distraction and before we realized it we arrived at the stairs leading to the unassuming entrance of the hot spring resort. We arrived in the lobby and began investigating our surroundings trying to locate the check in. We mistakenly confused the lady behind the large counter for the person who procured the money required for day use of the facilities. We quickly discovered the person in charge of taking payment was located behind the caged window area. Back home you see women behind bars in very few locations. Vegas has ladies behind bars and glass in their exchange chips for real money place. Freaky gentlemen's clubs in New Orleans have ladies dancing in cages. I guess some men can only get a date if she is caged before hand. The only other place  that would have "ladies" behind bars would be prison. I am still not sure what the resort would be so worried about they would take this type of precaution. The lady behind the bars gladly accepted our money and even gave us a discount due to the fact we had 10 people in our group. The day use cost 265$NT. This sum is equal to less than 10$ USD. The bus ride to the resort was 30$NT, which is 1$ USD, so far the day had cost 11$ USD. The diminutive price for use of this subtly beautiful resort included use of the hot spring pools, the shower and changing rooms, one towel, and one bottle of water. This was where the lady behind the large counter motioned to our group and handed everyone their one towel and bottle of water.

 The water fall, complete with realistic jungle located directly behind, empties driectly into the warmer pool. The picture is a little fuzzy due to the huge scary bug landing on my foot. He scared me and I jumped. I didn't realize the picture was affected by the dumb bug.

This is the hot pool. The source of the hot spring is located not even a foot away from where it empties.

 This is the warm pool. This is the largest pool in size and has several sources of water which keep it pleasant and tepid. However, this pool is cold once you have been sitting in the hot pool for any amount of time.

Water from the source being funneled through a long pipe to ensure it cools off before it is allowed to mix with the water in the cooler pool. The water flowing out of the pipe can be compared to a shower.

This water flowing into the cold pool is piped a great distance. It is amazing how distance and plastic pipe can cool the water so much the pool is actually cold. Hard to believe this pool is usually unoccupied huh? 

The balcony over looks the cold pool and it's drangon head water outlets. These dragon heads are hand carved and made from the porous abrasive stones found at the hot spring source. The balcony looks out to the ocean, but we didn't get to see the view. The upstairs is reserved for the bathers who prefer to go a'natural. No saggy old blah blah men for this foreigner! Saggy speedo wearing men were enough...

Cold pool and view of the mountains.

The patio furniture pushed right up against the jungle. I was wondering what would happen if the jungle animals decided to rise up and protest? Scary thought when you consider the size of spiders they have in Taiwan alone. Remember Ivan?

Once properly dressed we parted the curtains separating the changing room from the pools and stepped out into what can only be described as a mankind taking advantage of nature. The concrete created a division between nature and luxury. On one side of the division was a breath taking jungle complete with butterflies and enormous leafed plants. On the other side was concrete walk ways and patio furniture. The two halves stood in stark contrast and I began to doubt the accounts of the magical properties of the hot springs. We located a table and dropped our one towel and bottle of water. There were four pools of water. One was located a little distance from the other three and we learned this was the “cold” pool. The other three pools were varying temperatures of “hot” pools. The largest of the three was warm like a pool in the middle of summer. The bottoms of the hot pools were carved from the naturally occurring stone from the hot springs. The second and smaller pool was warm like a hot bubble bath. The third and smallest pool was actually hot. The temperature of the water reminded me of a hot tub, hot but not unbearable. The water flowing into this pool was being filtered through various stones and was directly from the source of the hot spring. Our group settled into the warm and relaxing embrace of the third pool. The water had a coppery smell, but felt amazing. After three hours of soaking in this magic water we were pruney and hungry. We decided food sounded like a fantastic suggestion, the resort food was not to the standards which had been previously guaranteed. We left in search of decent food and to explore the city just to the right of the hot springs. The encounters we had on our adventure are coming soon in my next post.

 

Jing-Xi’s Lesson of the Day: Every person who is in control of their lucidity recognizes Urban Legends are just that, legends. These carefully and skillfully crafted stories are used for many purposes by people from every corner of the globe. The purposes for these tales range from encouraging children to eat their vegetables to keeping children from wandering into danger. However, sometimes these yarns are simply designed to entertain with their unbelievable, yet totally accurate elements. I believe Big Foot and visitors from other planets can be funneled into this category. However, some legends do hold a shred of veracity. The hot springs may not have possessed magical powers, but disbelief in their powers does not validate dismissing the whole legend as myth.

Double 10s! Winner! Pay the front line…

Sounds like a phrase you would here The Stick Man bellow after the die had been rolled and it didn’t “crap” out. This is what I thought when I heard the term for the National Holiday being celebrated. The Taiwanese people call this day Double Ten Day. The morning was greeted by a firework display and the pounding of large drums. To this point I have not been able to get a picture of the fireworks or huge drums. I believe they both are products housed in the temple directly to right of the school. I am allowed to go into the common area and look around, but this is as far as I am allowed to venture. I have no intention of converting to Buddhism and do not believe I could pull off the “Mormon Trick” from our college days. (Remember the Trick Gina?) Furthermore, the trick never really functioned the way it was intended.  We never made it past the gardens and guard station. We attempted to gain entrance to the temple numerous times and went as far as trying to convince the guard we simply left our Mormon ID cards back at school. He had a shrewd B.S. gauge and never granted us access to the inner temple. Why would one try so hard to gain access to a church, you ask? The Mormon “church”, and the term church is used informally, cloaks itself in a mystery wrapped up inside of an enigma. The simple act of concealment makes one wonder what they are trying to conceal. Then there are the whispered accounts of secret ceremonies laden with baby oil and debauchery floating around. The baby oil accounts solely were enough to spike my interest and fuel my yearning to demystify and/or prove the rumors, one way or another. The temples in Taiwan hold a similar, but severe, charm. I would never dare attempt the ID card bit while in the temples of this country. Culture is a complex affair. One always has a sense of uncertainty regarding what is considered offensive to people belonging to this culture. It is far better to err on the side of caution than to appear as the common visage of an “ignorant and boorish American”. That being said, the temples and what lurks deep inside their confines remain unknown, with diminutive optimism of unfurling said mysteries any time in the future. However, one can hear the drums and see the fireworks emanating from the temple. This sight and sound causes me to pause and imagine what their appearance would be like up close. One would have to convert to Buddhism to gain access to these sights, sadly. Apologies for the long diversion from the purpose of this post, Double Ten Day.

Double Ten Day is celebrated in Taiwan every October 10^th, ere-go the title Double Ten Day. The people of Taiwan celebrate this day because it is the anniversary of the Wuchang Uprising. This revolt led Wuchang, which is a province in China, to declare independence from the ruling influence of its central government, circa 1911. The Wuchang Uprising led to a full blown revolt, called the Xinhai Revolution, led by Dr. Sun Yat-sen. The revolution ended imperial rule in China by overthrowing China’s last emperor, Puyi. The citizens were angry over government corruption, I had never heard of governments being corrupt before now, and foreign countries trying to take over land in China. The overthrowing of the Qing Dynasty, which was the Puyi corrupt ruler guy’s Dynasty, ended more than 2,000 years of dynastic rule in China. It also ushered in what was known as the Republican Era. I am certain that the word republican here has separate meanings and does not compare to the United States’ description of the term. I cannot imagine a republican of Taiwan compelling money from “big tobacco” for “special considerations” and making advances on any entity displaying a pulse. I would imagine a totally different type of Taiwanese Republican and probably end up being correct. The Xinhai Revolution led to the establishment of the Republic of China (ROC). This is the reason when sending care packages to the, starving for anything from home,  foreign teacher ROC needs to inscribed at the end of the school’s address here in Taiwan. Please note the subtle hint regarding care packages. All forms of care packages will be accepted. However, please refrain from sending items the foreign teacher doesn’t consider to be acceptable care package material. Such items include, but are not limited to: Spam (any variety), pickled pigs feet (for obvious reasons), anything prepared from processed meat parts, and so on. Thank you for your attention. J The Xinhai Revolution is remembered and celebrated as Double Ten Day (雙十節) in Taiwan. Double Ten Day is referred to as the Anniversary for the Wuchang Uprising in China and Hong Kong. I was finally brought up to speed, somewhat, by the same Science Teacher who “helped” with my Ivan problem. He told me Double Ten Day is much like our own 4^th of July, he said no more and no less. However, the first person I enquired about Double Ten Day was unable to answer my questions. I unequivocally believed she would be able to divine a solution or response to any inquiry relating to Taiwan, the country God Himself reposed in on the Seventh Day. But she sheepishly admitted she couldn’t recall why they celebrated the holiday, but was grateful for the day off. I decided Google was the way to go here. I discovered Double Ten Day is one of the few days the government of Taiwan allows their citizens to have a day free of work. On this special day the Taiwan Flag is raised at all local head government offices, i.e.: not the Post Office and National Health Insurance Office, and the National Anthem of Taiwan is sung. If the National Anthem of Taiwan sounds anything like the Happy Birthday Song, it has no less than five verses and is sung at full vocal volume. Oh and I can’t forget to mention the clapping accompanying the birthday song. Lots and lots of clapping, loud clapping, ear deafening clapping. I equate the birthday song in Taiwan in the following manner. The birthday song is the love child of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Wheels on The Bus songs. This would be the songlet, song baby for those wondering, these two vile disdainful songs would spawn. However, to gain full understanding of the instrumental clapping addition to the song, the song The YMCA would have to be the songlet’s grandfather. Now visualize Haaapppeeea Birrssdaya teua yoeua! I would forgo the “And Many More”, if it meant the Happy Birthday song would be retired to sunny Florida, where all the other tired Holiday Ramblers go when they reach their Golden, with a hint of rust, Years.      

My first Double Ten Day passed with sounds of fireworks and drums; immediately followed by the grading of 150 grammar books. Do you believe just because school wasn’t in session and it was a National Holiday the administration would put an injunction on work. Yea, and pigs might fly out of my posterior nether regions! Oh and Sandy Claws is the feline version of Santa Clause. Seriously, I read all about it on Facebook. It was the link right below Michael Jackson Lives and is resides in a trailer park somewhere in Arkansas and right above the link about the love child him and Britney Spears are expecting. Anyone want the address? Correcting and grading the grammar books was a necessity, because the next day of school was a half day. This meant only half the time to read and sign over 50 communication books. The day off had matured into a cruel jest meant to torture us with the farce of a day of rest. Happy Double Ten Day! J And God Bless America! Ooops not our Independence Day, sorry… ;)  

Only the Faces Change...

 I believe this statement can be found in song lyrics or something of that variety. However, a truer statement cannot describe my experiences in the Taiwanese classroom, to this point. I have discovered a hidden truism masquerading as a theory perpetuated by ignorant people. It has been said the culture in which one is raised is what separates the peoples of the world. This theory does not hold even a granule of truth and it is a curiosity no one has made attempt to correct the error. Culture does govern how one behaves and what one holds as ethical standards. However, one must consider the possibility children are not directed by culture until they mature almost to adulthood. When one contemplates the magnitude of this statement one is left with the realism, only the faces change.

Shelly(first in pic) Vivi(directly behind), and Vivian behind Vivi.

As I look out into my classroom full of little round faces I am struck with astonishment. The children here are almost carbon copies of the children back in The States, almost. The girls giggle and prattle on in Blah Blah about what I assume is the cute boy sitting in row two. Even though I do not understand or speak the Blah Blah language, yet, effortlessly one is able to read between the lines. The boys punch and tussle with one another struggling to prove their selves as an alpha male. They boast about their latest gadget their parents bought for them and secretly check out the cute girl in row two. Does anyone else notice the similarities to American children, or is it just me? I am certain I am not the only one to notice, but then again I am accustomed to being the only one having some type of peculiar thought or theory. It is tolerable if no one else perceives the similarities. However, if this concept did manage to glide right on by you, I will make sure it circles around for another pass. Please be certain to make sure your thinking cap is securely fastened, your absorption goggles are in place, your tray tables are up, and your chair is in the upright and locked position. Once the above is completed say “Yes Teacher” and I will know you are ready for the concept to make another trek towards you. See? Learning can be fun, but only with enough headache medicine, an amazing sense of humor, and a high threshold for stupid questions that were just answered. But other than those items, learning is a blast! WoooHoooo

There are three special girls who come down to my “office” every day and drop off the 150+ books for my immediate correction and perusal. These girls are very cute and kind hearted. Their English names are Shelly, Vivian, and Vivi. The English versions will have to due for now as I am unable to pronounce their Blah Blah names, yet. These girls have made it their mission to teach Teacher Cyndi to speak and understand Blah Blah. I ruminate they still believe it is going to be an easy task and I will pick it up quickly and effortlessly. Silly rabbit, Trixs are for kids... They even created a worksheet with the English word and the Blah Blah word right next to each other. I am quizzed every day covering the contents of the worksheet. Every day, I fail spectacularly, with grace and poise. No, not that kind of poise. I was referring to the poise that means dignity, but some days when I have no time even to grab a bite to eat, Poise begin to look very appealing… Not to mention the added bonus of not having to stand and aim, all while praying you miss your shoes. Can I get an AMEN here?? Amen!!

The incredible gift is the girls do not seem to mind my failing their exam every day. In fact they come back at the same time, every day, happy to see me, bearing gifts of gum, and hugging me. I am painfully aware of the fact; I would not last one day as a Chinese daughter. I would score below a 90 on some important exam and be forever shunned. I would be sent to the school for the dumb special kids and end up driving a taxi cab complete with fat Buddha figurine hanging from the rearview mirror. You have to conjecture at this point if the Heroin Sex Trade wouldn't be a better option here? I have already shamed my fictitious Chinese parents with my low score and they aren’t talking to me. Even the family dog, Li Chee, is not speaking to me and I was good to that flea bitten mongrel. With that being said, the whore trade does offer more money and better benefits. Makes sense in the reality where I am a Chinese daughter anyway. J

Back to a few of my favorite girls, yes there are others, but I will save them for another post. The girls usually come bursting through the double doors around 9:30, Shelly leading the band of miniature school teachers and the two Vivs, as I call them, following closely behind. The first thing out of Shelly’s mouth is the word sticker. “Sticcckerrra, sticcckerrra, Teeeechera, sticcckerrrra”, she says over and over. Sadly, it took me a few weeks to actually determine what she was demanding. I have stickers in my desk drawer and she loves them. Every day, she says sticker and opens my drawer, retrieves the sheet, and carefully chooses stickers for all of us. Most days I am honored with the apple sticker. Once the sticker selection process is complete and she has bestowed our stickers on to our persons, Shelly states simply, “Applea Teachera, Applea Studenta”.

The “A” sound at the end of every word threw me and I am ashamed of how long it took me to puzzle out she was merely describing our stickers. Most of the students’ end their English words with an A sound. It was only this last week I figured out the reason for this odd practice. The Chinese language, aka Blah Blah in my blog, is compiled of complex sounds and tones, however most words do not have a final syllable sound. The A sound on the end of the English words is the student’s way of ensuring they make a final syllable sound when they speak English. They do not discriminate when it comes to the A sound and every word has it added to the end. Those words include: yesa, noa (not the guy who built the Ark), pleasea, and the list goes on.

Finally and with difficulity, I grasped the notion; Shelly was trying to tell me that we are the same. We have the same sticker and we are the same, simple and final. That in and of itself is an interesting notion… We are the same? Yes… We are the same. I am no longer tethered to the notion of it mattering, in the slightest, in which culture you matured to adulthood. People are people and more importantly, children are children, no matter where you go and teach. They giggle, wrestle, hug one another, smile, laugh, talk non-stop, play computer games, go shopping with friends, flirt, and strive to make the adults they care about proud of their accomplishments. These girls have altered my opinions regarding so many theories which have been imparted to me over the years. Even with the barricade the language issues raises, I know, with no doubt that these girls love me and desire only to make me happy and proud of their English work. I also know I love them and would see them protected, at all cost, from this ugly ugly world. Truly, only the faces change… 

 

Jing-Xi's Lesson of the Day: It has been said, Children are our future. The statement could not ring more true. Children are this global community’s future, a humbling and troubling thought. What kind of future will our children bring this world? I fervently believe they will bring the type of future they were taught to bring. This is exhibited the world over as this is being written. The future has changed hands over the years numerous times. Every time the future changes leaders, life has seemed to take a downward spiral which is plummeting towards the ground. It will not be long before the fatal impact echoes across the globe. One only has to recall terrible events in our homeland to see the effects of hate and intolerence of differences. When we teach our children to hate and fear differences, we teach a narrow minded and short sighted world view. Color, race, culture, and religion are of no importance where love and acceptance are concerned. Teaching children to hate others for shallow and inane reasons is like teaching a dog to fight. Pound half-truths and ridiculous theories into children’s heads, but when they discover the truth, and they will, they will turn on the ones responsible for telling them half-truths. In the picture to the left is Shelly, Vivi, Vivian, and Mia in the last desk. On the other side are Shane, Catherine, and Potter. If after seeing this picture you still have doubts regarding my musing above, I am uncertain about how to convince you of the truth found in the statement. Simply look at the children. Potter giving the camera a "gun show" and the others throwing up peace signs. Only the faces change...

 

Wonders Never Cease...

There are many wonders contained in one's own country of origin one holds scared and even views as "unique" to their area. This could be considered a truism and one would never need to leave the comfort of their own "backyard" to gaze upon amazing visages. Really? One doesn’t have to leave the fenced in area of their yard to see wonders any more amazing then they are able see from home? If this were truly the case the world would be filled with people speaking just one language, sitting in their chaise lounge chairs, drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, a hand down their drawers, and never dreaming of a life beyond or outside their fence. Don’t you remember, your country told you that this was all you would ever need or want? Come to the “Melting Pot it is “The Land of Freedom and Opportunity”, but not for everyone. Everything one could possibly hold in amazement is right where you are, no further. One has an illusion of safety as long as they remain in the confines of their yard. These artifices are powerful tethers and ensure any adventures are confined to the “Open Road” of their homeland. However, even Forest Gump dreamed of a life beyond his backyard. “Run Forest, run!!” Sorry I couldn’t resist. J Forest played table tennis in China, survived the jungles of Vietnam, met the President of the United States, and spoke at a peace demonstration. If Forest was able to accomplish those feats being who he was, isn’t it possible anyone could? Taking the above discussion into consideration, passing through customs for three separate countries was daunting and illuminating. One discovers what a country values most as one gains entry to their boarders. Taiwan values honesty and moral fortitude. This was evident as they search every item on my person and check luggage. In addition to the search and body scanning machine, there was a large warning written in perfect English and huge red letters. It said, “Any persons attempting to bring any illegal substances or drugs will be held in contempt and is punishable by death”. Yes death! The warning didn’t say capital punishment. It clearly stated death. I wish now I would have snapped a picture of the sign. The warning sign serves to lend an ominous feeling to the airport and luggage claim. Maybe America isn’t so corrupt? Maybe She still has offerings far above any other country on the Earth. After all people died for those offerings and they never had seemed so appealing. The adage, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”, is the ultimate truism. Taiwan has many many edicts and rules. No one questions anything or anyone. They just do what they always have done and no one stops to wonder or ask why. God bless America and the freedom only She affords.         

Don’t misinterpret my intent. I am not implying a life from a chaise lounge chair while drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer should be enough for anyone. I elect one catches the adventure bug! Yes, the adventure bug is real and no he is not related to Ivan. They travel in very different circles of people. Harry, the adventure bug, would never go slumming and consent to being friends with a dirty roach eater. He is persnickety and only rubs feelers with the upper echelons. Go! See the wonders and spectacles. Find Waldo, he’s been missing for years!

In America these immense works of men include wonders such as Mount Rushmore, The Statue of Liberty, and the list marches on towards infinity. These marvels on their own and collectively are truly sights to behold. But what if, just what if, there were wonders equally amazing found in every corner of this wonderful world, created to behold in astonishment? Hate to be the one to let you in on the not so well kept secret, but incredible wonders can be found universally. As it has been said so skillfully in the past, “here’s your sign!” Is there anyone who needs to be told what is written on that sign? I seem to recall that the sign says, “No Pets Allowed” or maybe it said “Welcome to Oregon, now go back to California”.  

Almost every country on Earth feels an immense sense of honor when their citizens exhibit pride in their origins and mother land, as they should. Global citizens seem to mechanically and automatically regurgitate the names and locations of their national landmarks, curiosities, and history to anyone and everyone who will listen. This is a pleasing sentiment in and of itself, but is there nothing more? Nothing more than Ellis Island? Nothing more than leaving their motherland praying and dreaming of a better life, but those dreams dry up as “The American Dream” seems as if forever, just out of reach. There is more. One just has to be open to seeming uncomfortable experiences. Once you are able to move past the feelings of discomfort, new world unfolds before your eyes. A world of odd beauty, interesting history, and strange traditions… This post will be used to share pictures of the odd, strange, beautiful, and bizarre wonders which cross my path… Enjoy! (I will update this post with new pictures, so keep checking this post.)

 

The far sign is carved onto a rock and is repainted when the sun fades the directions...

This was the Blue Moon in August. The Moon festival followed only a few weeks later. That is when Moon Cakes are to be eaten and given as gifts. Moon Cakes are much like the Pineapple cakes. They are not cake and do not taste very good.

   

This is another picture of the Blue Moon. The clouds in the picture are a common occurrence here in Taiwan. The weather is very strange, one minute clear skies, clouds roll in, it pours gallon buckets of rain, and the clouds roll out. This occurs usually within a 20 minutes span.

This sight had me baffled for weeks. It is a huge portable tent type meeting area. This was not located on the street when I arrived in Keelung. It seemed to spring up over night. It wasn't until my agent, Wade, arrived to help me with business the purpose of the meeting area was revealed. This is a memorial meeting area. A citizen of Keelung passed away and this was erected for people to gather and mourn. The picture below is a different angle.

This is the Gold Man. He is located on our school grounds. I was walking around in the jungle and bam there was this gold man. I obviously cannot read the blah blah on the face of the statue, but I was told by a reliable source that this is Chairman Mao. This man's picture can be found in every classroom.

These plants grow wild directly behind our dorm. These plants are considered small compared to the ones located to the south of the school. The leaves on those plants are large enough to stand under and use as an umbrella. I never imagined plants described in the stories actually existed.

This is what we call a dieffenbachia. There many types of this plant and they all can be found growing wild in what would be considered my new backyard. Trust me, this is paradise for me. I love plants. This is a smaller plant and it's growing up a tree trunk. There is one of these plants down in the garden area of the school with leaves as big as a dinner plate.














This is what we call elephant ear. I never really understood why they would name the plant after something as large as an elephant. Until I saw the plant growing wild. The name is totally well deserved. Again, this is a small plant. I have seen ones as big as a palm tree growing in California.